SapioSlut

Sometimes we use sex to reconnect, but our best sex happens when we are already connected.

Today he hurt me. I wanted him to; I was desperate for catharsis. After yesterday’s reconnection process and subsequent talking we were both ready for it, but I didn’t know in what form the pain would eventuate.

“Into the Black Room, naked.”

I get on my back and he lies down beside me. He is going to slap my cunt. I never know whether he is going to give me a warm-up, or use the edge of going in cold and hard. That in itself fucks with my head.

“Hold your knees down and keep them from flinching.”

Oh god. I am whimpering already. His artful pause lets me play out the worst in my own mind. Smack. Not too hard but right on my clit. Ow! Another slap and my knees jerk upwards.

“Keep them apart.”

Better yet is making me smack myself while he holds my knees apart. I know how this works. If I think about slapping my own pussy I wimp out. I have to think about slapping an inanimate object to achieve to the required level of intensity. Ow fucking ow!

His turn again, and it is harder this time. Ow! Ow! I curl into him, needing his gentle touch as well.

“Good girl,” he says, “Open your knees.”

“It will be three hard ones in a row,” he says to prepare me. Ow! Ow! Ow! I crumple against him in tears. He cuddles me, and I feel his cock hard against my skin.

“I was thinking of using the Magic Wand, but now I want to fuck you.”

Cock worship first: my face, my mouth, and my tongue acknowledge him. As I slide onto him I feel the tenderness from yesterday’s frantic fuck. He rocks me back and forth and the freshly swollen flesh sings in my cunt. He fucks me to orgasm until I cry, then he holds me close and tenderly tells me how much he is going to hurt me.

He places his fingers on my nipples and holds them gently. “I’m going to hurt you unbearably, but just for a moment. Ask for it; tell me you want it.”

No!

“Do it.”

In this space I am torn between doing as he requests and saying what is true. I feel the contradiction between my desire to submit, and being honest about my fear. He plays the dichotomy perfectly. He also knows I crave the intensity.

I am stuck. He can feel my body quivering with the conflict. He helps me. “Say after me. Please.” Please. “Hurt.” Hurt. “Me.” Me.

“Again.” He starts to fuck me in rhythm with the words. “Please.” Please. “Hurt me.” Hurt me. “Again, all of it.” Please hurt me. “Again.” Please hurt me. “Over and over.” Please hurt me. Please hurt me.

As my orgasm begins to form it reflects in my words, my lust leaking out in my breathy voice. Please huuurt mee. I know the psychology here, and it makes no difference. Fucker, I think, you are warping my mind. Please hurt me. And it feels so good. Please hurt me. I say it again and I start to come and he grabs me hard by my breasts and fucks me more.

“Now add one more word,” he says as I come down. I wait to hear it. “Unbearably.” No! I shake my head as my mind fills with its perception of unbearable. The dichotomy is screaming now. He has me mostly there, but I am still resisting the final submission.

I have to say those words, but I also have to maintain my integrity. How? Eventually I blurt it out. Please do what you want to do. “That’s not good enough. Again.” Please hurt me unbearably, but I don’t mean it. “Not good enough.”

How can I do this? It feels impossible. I start to rage at his demand. Please hurt me unbearably, you fucking fucker! My anger spills out, and I grab his arms and slap at him while continuing my tirade and fucking him and trying to hold onto my rage as I can see how close I am to losing any semblance of self-control.

He easily wrests back control with his cock hard against my cervix. There’s nothing like an orgasm to unhinge me, and now he rides the emotional roller-coaster he has created, my deep rolling orgasms. Pain and pleasure overwhelm me and I become his fuck toy. I want him to use me. I want everything he can do. I whisper to him and tell him how much I want it.

I have forgotten that his fingers still hold their place on my nipples. His sudden twist and squeeze skyrockets the intensity. Was it unbearable? I don’t know. It was way up there, but I am so far into subspace that he could have done anything. This is the haze of lust he evokes in me.

He holds me close as I quiver with aftershocks. I try to contain them, but they have their own way regardless.

We are both exhausted, but his cock is hard and he wants to come. He begins to wank himself and I join in by touching him, ranging across his torso and his thighs, caressing his legs and his balls. I whisper to him how much I loved him hurting me, and I hear his breath sharpen. I love this moment. He comes. And comes. His pleasure wracks his body in a spasm lasting the length of his orgasm.